Mental Health Nurses' Day: The value of empathy
Cards on the table, I started out this piece of writing with a different focus in mind. As is often the case, life threw a curveball and a different perspective seemed more important. Being open to taking different perspectives is, in fact, one of the most fundamentally important things we can do as mental health nurses (but more on that later).
Recently, a very lovely colleague died unexpectedly. As well as being universally loved, she was kind, compassionate and principled. Even in the most difficult of work circumstances, she was an expert at keeping an open and empathic mind as to the possible reasons behind the behaviours of others. I am certain that this professional role-modelling had a positive influence on many colleagues and students and certainly, I have heard many kind words spoken about her since her death.
It’s no exaggeration to say that she made me a better person. Whenever I spoke with her, I found that her very presence encouraged me to be better at considering other perspectives.
Often, when we feel hurt or angry because of the behaviour of others, we become quickly certain of that person’s motives without actually having any evidence for this aside from the way we feel (which can feel like evidence but isn’t really). We take only that one perspective that we’ve become certain about… that they were deliberately trying to provoke us/that they are an idiot/that they are selfish… or some other negative attribution. When we do this, it closes our minds (and our hearts) to any empathic understanding.
Empathy involves avoiding judging others and considering a multitude of perspectives for their behaviour. Having empathy as our default position is a goal we could all aim for. When we default to empathy, it allows us to experience the world and other people with more compassion and helps us to spend less time experiencing resentment and conflict.
Of course, as mental health nurses, we are not super-human, and we don’t always get this right. Like everyone else, sometimes we think the worst of people, have a moan, and build resentments. However, when we meet someone who’s behaviour highlights the flaws in our own ways of being, it can be truly inspiring. I consider myself fortunate to have met several people who inspired me in this way throughout my life and career thus-far. Some of those people have been mental health nurses, whilst others, like the colleague I mentioned were not. Ultimately, I think, it doesn’t really matter the background (professional or otherwise) of people who inspire you to be a better person. It can often be emotionally tiring work as a mental health nurse, however spending time with people who inspire us can help us to feel recharged and reinvigorated and that is the really exciting and rewarding part of the job… when we feel we can really help make a difference for the people we are working with.
Becoming a mental health nurse won’t make you super-human or an angel but it will give you the opportunity to meet people who can help you to become a better version of yourself and that, I think, is priceless.
For Katie.
Scott Macpherson is a lecturer in Mental Health Nursing at ºìÐÓÊÓƵ.
